Quote:
“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” Kahlil Gibran
My Thoughts:
In mindfulness meditation we talk about “anchors”. In the energetic empath space we speak of “grounding”. These ideas are relatively synonymous. When I help someone learn how to meditate, there is often this notion that if they can’t sit still or keep silent for hours at a time then they are immediately disqualified from meditation. This, of course, is complete and utter bullshit.
We know that our “monkey mind” will do its monkey things. We get distracted. We ruminate on all the ways things will go bad. We get angry about what happened last week, while worrying about tomorrow, leaving today completely ignored.
An anchor is something solid and tangible. It’s our feet on the ground. Our butt in the seat. Our breath flowing. When we are meditating and our mind wanders it is these anchors that allow us to find our way back to the present moment. When we want to be grounded energetically, it’s oftentimes these embodied practices that help us get there. This is a BIG intersection of the mindfulness and empath spaces. We feel things DEEPLY and WILDLY, and so often it feels like we’re not driving the bus of our emotional transit system, but we are victims of those around us.
It need not be like this. We anchor, we ground, we allow the energies of others to be their own.
Anxiety and worry are very real and difficult to navigate when it feels like they are out of control, even more so if we are soaking up the anxiety and worry of those around us. Do yourself a favor and learn how to manage it!
Intention:
“Today I choose to breathe through my anxiety, knowing it’s merely energy that moves through me.”
Meditation:
Practice your breathing by learning this technique (box breathing).
Close your eyes, or soften your gaze. Settle your body comfortably in your seat, feet firmly on the floor, grounding yourself in the present moment. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, feeling your belly expand like a balloon. Count to four silently in your mind as you fill your lungs with air.
Hold that breath for a count of four, savoring the stillness, the quiet pause before the exhale. Feel the air nestled within, a warm weight against your ribs.
Now, release the breath slowly through your mouth, counting to four again as you let go of any tension, any anxieties, any thoughts clinging to you. Imagine them flowing out with the air, dissolving into the space around you.
Repeat this cycle: inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Focus on the rhythm of your breath, the rise and fall of your chest, the steady beat of your heart.
Imagine yourself surrounded by a box, a safe space carved out of the world. Your breath is the architect, building the walls with each inhale, solidifying the boundaries with each exhale. Inside this box, you are protected, free from outside distractions.
Continue breathing in this box, counting your way through each phase. If thoughts intrude, gently nudge them aside, like leaves carried away by a gentle breeze. Let your focus return to the rhythm of your breath, the steady pulse of life within you.
For five minutes, or even just for a few precious moments, stay within this peaceful box. Breathe in calmness, breathe out tension. When you're ready, take one final deep breath in, holding it for a count of four. Then, let it out slowly, feeling the box dissolve around you. Open your eyes, or soften your gaze again, carrying the calmness you found within you into the rest of your day.
Remember, this box is always there, ready to offer refuge whenever you need it. Simply return to your breath, count your way to peace, and find your center once more.
Cultivation:
What grounding rituals or meditation anchors are you cultivating? Pick a few that feel right to you! The tried and true anchors of breath and feet are great, but what if you have a medical condition where breathing deep is difficult? Or perhaps your feet, like mine, ALWAYS HURT! Perhaps bringing attention to those spaces doesn’t make sense for you?
Pro tip: if you are meditating and want to create an anchor or mechanism for grounding that you can use outside of the meditation moment, use your hands if able. Touch two fingers together, or maybe take one hand and put it under your opposite elbow. Something you don’t do normally. When done consistently while in a meditative moment, you can bring yourself some calm by accessing that memory with the hand gesture or placement.
Appreciation:
When was the last time you were grateful for something that was completely out of your control? I mean, think about it, there are tons of examples.
Take a walk in nature and feel the sun on your skin and the wind whistling by. Be grateful.
Recognize that opportunity at work that was out of your control, but you are experiencing some good because of it.
Our ability to control or change something should not affect our willingness to appreciate it, but I think it sometimes does. We are not the center of the universe. There’s more going on out there if only we look up and notice and appreciate it.