Quote:
"For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), It's always our self we find in the sea." ~ e.e. cummings
My thoughts:
I’m not sure how far out into the Pacific we went, but it had to be a couple miles due west of Long Beach. At least I think that’s where the boat had originated from. I remember the rocking of the boat, the salt air naturally exfoliating my skin, and a lot of staring into the sun. We arrived at a spot where we slowed to a halt.
It was me, my sister and dad, some extended family…my uncles and their families and my grandparents on that boat.
I think someone spoke.
I might have said something, this WAS while I was firmly in my PREACHER era, but I don’t remember much. When the time was right we carefully turned the bag holding my Mom’s ashes so they could return to the waters she loved so dearly.
So much of those years are blurry.
I think it started in 2001 (I always have to math it), with a phone call as my sister and I were walking into a shopping center in La Mesa, California.
My dad was on the other end of the phone.
The message was short, not sweet.
Mom had died. She was with my dad and some friends at a Mexican restaurant in Marble Falls. She was laughing at something someone said and her heart decided that it was the right time to be done.
She went out laughing, with friends, eating Mexican food.
Like a boss.
She had been sick for so long. So many ailments, not enough time to list them.
She survived EVERYTHING her body had in store, but the inoperable heart condition was something she could really only manage, not fix.
Even with a lifetime of ailments and dire prognoses she LIVED.
While I was in High School she was the Booster President for the Choir department I was a member of. She was always my biggest cheerleader. We traveled to Europe where, while doing ALL THE WALKING, she and my dad noticed her inability to catch her breath. This was the beginning of the end, I guess. The doctors told her that if we moved out of smoggy Southern California she might see me graduate college, or my sister get married.
After we moved to the clearer skies of Texas she would volunteer for Hospice, stay active in church, and for a time she worked with the local EMS.
Even with death on the horizon she was living her life in constant support of others. It was her radical empathy that began my obsession with the topic.
Today is my Mom’s birthday.
I think of her most days, of course. But there are certain days when I make sure to consider her more. Today is always a special one. Set apart. Holy.
I’m not sure when I made the decision, perhaps it was made for me in the dark recesses of my brain that can’t remember the day she died, but I have made sure that I will ALWAYS celebrate her birthday.
Did you know that the water on earth today is the same water that’s been here for nearly 5 billion years? Yep. This beautiful and mysterious flying rock we call home has had the same water source the entire time.
I think of letting loose the ashes of my beautiful, brilliant, and big-hearted Mom into the same waters that hold all of humanity. The same waters that will hold me one day.
I think that’s what it means to be one with God.
Intention:
Join me in this intention:
Today I will celebrate the gift of life,
I will laugh with friends, hug loved ones,
and eat Mexican food with too much cheese.
Meditation:
Very simply…breathe.
Breathe and contemplate the miracle of life.
Breathe and be grateful for all those who came before you.
Cultivation:
What do you collect that brings the outside inside?
Is it rocks, crystals, sea shells, plants, flowers?
Herbs for cooking?
Find something that reminds of you of the glory of nature and bring it inside to a special spot in your kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom where you will see it every day.
Appreciation:
Tell your loved ones you are grateful for them.
This topsy turvy life will always throw curveballs and unexpected challenges.
Don’t let this moment pass you by without expressing your love for your people.