“Empathy grows as we learn.”
~ Alice Miller
Reflection:
True courage is allowing growth to occur and removing obstacles, or working through them as we must, in order to be the most unique and truthful YOU that you can be.
This is mastery.
We look for examples in the world around us to teach us, in their own unique way, how to be masters. A master is NOT someone who wields power or control over others, only themselves.
I find inspiration and lessons through the stories of the courage of others, but I cannot attempt to replicate their bravery. It is not my story.
Courage is as unique as a fingerprint and as complex as DNA. The obstacles and challenges of my friend are not mine, and the mixture of bravery, wisdom, peace, and action it took for them to overcome their challenges are solely their own.
I can acknowledge it and absorb some of its spirit, but my power as an empath does not extend into the recesses of their specific point of view.
This is a boundary that we must respect.
The mindful empath does not wield their power in a way that blankets or molds to the people around them.
Their power IS the Witness.
We are keenly aware of our own emotions and state of being so that it becomes easier to single out others emotions.
This is the practice of "mine, not mine".
Let me unpack that.
So often I hear from people that identify as empaths and designate it almost solely as a gift they could return, a curse even. There are a TON of drawbacks in living with a heart wide open, chief among them is the feeling that you become an emotional sponge, soaking up all the emotions of the people around you.
This is where the skill, and ethic of mindfulness comes in.
As a mindful empath we are able to navigate our relationships with a deftness that allows us to quickly acknowledge when our emotional compass is being guided by our own internal feelings and challenges, rather than others.
It is a skill.
It is something that we can learn, but we need to practice it!
It is an ethic.
Meaning, it will guide your movement amongst others and how you manage your relationships. It will affect your vulnerability and transparency with others too! It is something that, once it become second nature, will be present in EVERY decision you make.
We are sentient FEELING beings. It’s impossible to exist in relationship and NOT be confronted with the emotions of others. It is our responsibility to move these into the categories of “mine, not mine”. If this sounds overwhelming, I assure you it is not once it becomes second nature.
It just takes time and an investment into your mental health and well-being!
I am available to help, if interested.
Intention:
Join me in this intention:
Today, I will be present with my own emotions, making it easier to discern others feelings in the process.
Meditation:
Tuning In to Emotions
Find a quiet moment in your day, at least 5 minutes.
Bring your attention to your inner world. Imagine your feelings as clouds drifting across a vast sky. Notice any emotions that arise, big or small. It could be joy, contentment, worry, or a flicker of irritation. Simply observe them without judgment.
Where do those feelings exist in your body? In your chest? In the pit of your stomach? In your shoulders?
Don't try to hold onto any feeling or push any away. Let them come and go like the clouds, ever-changing. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath and the emotions passing by.
Spend a few minutes in this space of quiet observation. You may find your feelings become clearer, or they may remain subtle. That's perfectly okay.
Cultivation:
3 Keys to Self-Awareness:
Observe your emotions: Pay attention to how your body feels throughout the day. Are you tense? Relaxed? Do you have a knot in your stomach? These sensations can be clues to what you're feeling emotionally.
Identify your triggers: What situations or people tend to evoke strong emotions in you? Understanding your triggers can help you anticipate and manage your reactions.
Journaling: Taking time to write down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for emotional exploration.
Appreciation:
Join me in this statement of gratitude!
“I express deep gratitude for the gift of emotions. They are the vibrant tapestry woven into the fabric of our existence.
For the joy that erupts like sunshine, warming us from the inside and propelling us forward.
For the love that connects us to others, fostering deep bonds and a sense of belonging.
For the sadness that allows us to process loss and appreciate the beauty of what we have.
For the anger that fuels our passion and compels us to fight for what is right.
For the fear that keeps us safe and helps us navigate uncertainty.
For all our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, for they grant us depth and dimension as human beings. They nudge us to grow, to connect, and to create a more meaningful life.”