“Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus you will better know when to speak and when to be silent.”
~ St. Ignatius
Reflection:
Social Media is killing our natural empathic inclination.
I know, I know…you’re probably reading this because I have posted it on Social Media. The fact of the matter is that I am likely writing to the echo chamber. I’m creating content first for myself, and second, for ANYONE who will listen…but there is a pretty large contingency of friends and family that I’m still friends with on Social Media that pretty much have written me off when it comes to spiritual and social matters because we happen to disagree.
I am not perfect, mind you. I have my moments of exasperation where I just can’t do it. I have a hair trigger response to attitudes that come off as void of empathy. You might say I have NO empathy for those that don’t have empathy. It’s a “riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma”, as Winston Churchill would say.
In The Message, Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of the Bible, he shares his version of James 1:19, “ Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger.”
That’s the Bible, folks. It gives us the reason WHY we should engage in deep listening.
In our increasingly noisy world, in both online and offline spaces, the ability to truly listen has become a rare and precious gift. Deep listening, the act of fully engaging with another person without judgment or distraction, is a cornerstone of meaningful connection. Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present in the moment, provides the essential groundwork for this profound listening experience.
Mindfulness cultivates a state of focused attention, allowing us to quiet the internal chatter and create space for the external world. When we engage in deep listening, we bring this mindful awareness to the conversation. We listen not just with our ears, but with our entire being – our hearts, minds, and bodies. This holistic approach enables us to perceive the nuances of speech, the unspoken emotions, and the underlying meaning behind words.
And I truly believe that we MUST give the authors and speakers of those words the benefit of the doubt. We need to put down our swords (or pens, or iPads, or phones) in favor of a soft heart and willing understanding.
By combining mindfulness and deep listening, we foster a sense of empathy, understanding, and connection. We create a safe space for others to express themselves freely, knowing they are truly heard and valued. In a world often characterized by superficial interactions, hot takes, and scathing criticisms, this practice offers a transformative path towards authentic relationships and personal growth.
Intention:
Join me in this intention:
Today, I will approach each interaction with a spirit of genuine curiosity. I will silence my inner voice to create space for another's words. By listening deeply and attentively, I will foster connection, understanding, and empathy.
Meditation:
Listen
Find a quiet space where you won't be disturbed. Begin by settling into a comfortable position, allowing your body to relax. Take a few deep breaths, feeling your body grounding to the earth.
Now, shift your focus to your ears. Listen to the sounds around you without judgment. There might be traffic, birds chirping, or even the ticking of a clock. Let these sounds wash over you like waves on a shore.
Imagine you are an empty vessel, ready to be filled with the sounds of the world. Don't try to analyze or categorize them. Simply listen.
Now, bring your attention to the silence between the sounds. This is a space of pure listening. It's a place where you can connect with the deeper layers of sound.
As you continue to listen, imagine yourself as a vast open field. Let the sounds land on you like gentle rain. Allow them to soak in, nourishing your inner being.
When you're ready, bring your awareness back to your body. Feel the sensations of your breath and the ground supporting you. Gently open your eyes, carrying the spirit of deep listening with you into your day.
Remember, deep listening is not just about hearing the words, but also about understanding the unspoken messages.
Cultivation:
Cultivating a Positive Relationship Between Social Media and Deep Listening
Social media can be a double-edged sword. It offers connection but can also foster isolation. To navigate this, we must balance digital engagement with real-world presence.
Setting Boundaries
Digital detox: Regularly disconnect from social media to recharge and focus on real-world interactions. I cannot emphasize this enough. It is important to take days, weeks, maybe even months off!
Time limits and Notifications: Set specific time blocks for social media use to prevent excessive scrolling. PRO TIP: Turn off ALL push notifications for your socials. Your phone is a tool you should use it as such on YOUR time and when YOU need it…not when it calls to you with that damn <bing>.
Mindful consumption: Be selective about the content you consume. Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you
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Deep Listening in the Digital Age
Active engagement: When interacting online, focus on the conversation, not just posting. Respond thoughtfully and respectfully. Sometimes there is NO GOOD REASON to add your voice, take the opportunity to listen sometimes.
Empathy online: Try to understand the perspective of others, even when you disagree. This requires research and a willingness to DO YOUR HOMEWORK and not expect others to give you information that is freely available.
Digital presence: Use social media as a tool for connection, sharing meaningful content, and fostering community.
Balancing Online and Offline
Mindful presence: Be fully present in the moment, whether online or offline. Avoid multitasking and distractions.
Real-world connections: Prioritize face-to-face interactions and cultivate deep relationships.
Digital mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques while using social media to reduce stress and improve focus.
Appreciation:
I am grateful for the gift of deep listening. It has opened my heart to the richness of human experience. Through this practice, I have discovered a profound connection with others, a shared humanity that transcends words. Deep listening has taught me patience, empathy, and the power of presence. It is a reminder that everyone has a story to tell, and every voice deserves to be heard. In the quiet spaces of attentive listening, I have found understanding, compassion, and a deeper appreciation for the beauty of human connection.