***My apologies for a late entry this week! I was participating in the Conscious Awakening Conference here in Austin, and had a WONDERFUL time. I encourage you to check Betting On Love to learn more about this amazing event and to keep apprised of future offerings that might be coming!
Quote:
“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen
My thoughts:
As I mentioned earlier, this past weekend I was with a few dozen of my new best friends. We were honored to participate in the first ever Conscious Awakening Conference here in Austin, Texas. I say first ever because I have a sneaking suspicion that this will NOT be the last time we do this. The conference itself was a way to discuss, in an honest, vulnerable, and kind way, the struggles of mental health, spirituality, and how psychedelics have informed some on that path.
The core of the conference was made up of the storytellers.
Each day we had the privilege of hearing from people from ALL walks of life.
We heard from a few young (in body) souls who were WISE beyond their years. We heard from some older (in body) souls who generated what I can only describe as a vibrant energy that gave LIFE in their very words. We heard a lot of stories born of grief and despair, yet in their telling we were witnesses to a real-time embodiment of spiritual kintsugi.
Kintsugi, if you are unfamiliar with the term, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. It is a BEAUTIFUL image of how we can look at our own stories, our lives even.
I am struck by the words of Leonard Cohen, and my own challenges of embracing what I would consider my cracks and fault lines. I think there is some truth to both what Cohen says, and the kintsugi method.
Sometimes we need to practice some self-awareness and honesty about our challenges, mistakes, and brokenness. It is in that presence that we find healing. It could be from noticing a light behind it or despite it, or it could be that when we are ready we are able to reframe our brokenness with gold dust.
The light can be something that comes from outside of you…through mentors, loved ones, your spirituality, or your community. The light can also be something you create. There is no right way to do it, but you must do it. As Robert Frost wrote,
The only way out is through.
Intention:
“Today I will recognize my broken pieces and lovingly bring them together in a beautiful and whole mosaic that is both fragile and strong. Courage lies in the strength to pick up those pieces and bring them together, rather than throwing them away altogether.”
Meditation:
Join me in this very simple meditation, it can be a mantra you repeat as you prepare your coffee in the morning or as you are waiting to pick up your child from school.
I am broken, yet I am whole.
I embellish my scars with gold.
Cultivation:
Hoo boy! This is a tough one.
Vulnerability is risky. We need to be mindful who we cultivate this type of energy with, yet I believe it is a necessary gift to your friends and family for healthy relationships.
That being said, when was the last time you got together with your people and discussed your mistakes? A moment where you can be 100% honest with yourself and others on your brokenness?
This is not a place or space to lay blame or be shamed, it is a moment to practice communal kintsugi. You may be able to overlay your admission with the gold of your lesson, OR perhaps even more beautifully, we allow our loved ones to give us the gift of gold in that moment.
Cultivate a practice of rewarding vulnerability with love and compassion.
Appreciation:
Similar to above, I believe it is imperative to give yourself that love and compassion on the regular. We are often our harshest critics.
As I did my daily tarot practice today I pulled three cards. The way I lay them out and interpret them is a very common past/present/future spread. I am very careful though not to attribute any “fortune telling” power to my cards. Others may use this as their way of divination, and that is fine, but I use my tarot from a personal mindfulness exercise perspective.
So when I pull up a card that is my PAST card I come to that lesson with appreciation and gratitude. What can I learn about my past behavior and circumstances, good or bad, right or wrong, where I can appreciate it for what it was.
A lesson.
Yes, we can look at our cracks and brokenness with gratitude and appreciation. Because, for obvious reasons, you would not be who you are and where you are if it were not for them.
And who you are and where you are and what you are is BEAUTIFUL!
I truly enjoyed this. I wrote a long response and when I hit post I somehow got sucked into a vortex of subscribing and setting up A profile only to come back to this empty box. Lol such is life thank God that it’s not a problem since I’m rarely short of words. What I wanted to tell you earlier was that your perspective is refreshing. I have always had an interest in storytelling In general since I heard about it as an art form - truly the performance the energy of someone on a stage with the talking stick and getting to have a chance to tell their story their way, uninterrupted, not having to use their energy to defend or pretend - they get to just have the floor and release the energy of an experience and what it was like to be in there and we get to be there in the trenches with them. I love the vulnerability and authenticity that can come up when someone tells a story. I am also fascinated with the ideas of accepting our mistakes and cracks and the healing part being what makes it even that more beautiful. I read a lot about storytelling alchemy and as a lifelong writer who’s been writing pages and pages and thousands of words in journals and documents and other places - it feels like realizing you can truly not only be the author of your present and future. Writing your own story - but also having the capabilities and the magic wand to rewrite your past to whatever we want or need it to be. We can give ourselves experiences and things never gotten- we can rewrite the traumas, the moments, the apologies we never received and needed. We have the power whether in our minds or on our paper to rewrite the past and exist from the present with a different lighter past than was once before so burdensome. Whooo think I may have gotten to existential there but anyway. Thanks for making me think tonight ! 🤓 thanks for sharing the gift of your perspective !
Dear Michael, this is so beautiful. Hank you for sharing these stories here.
I’ve learned admitting mistakes/brokenness/failure is LIBERATING!
My son and I used to have a thing we did when he was a teenager and living at home. When we would leave the house, I would lock the door behind us. Which, unfortunately, too often, meant I would drop the keys in the bottom of what was commonly called a “bucket purse” or “hobo bag”… aka “bottomless abyss”.
SO upon the return home I would be standing at the door, often in the freezing cold, groping in the abyss for my keys. To which, ALWAYS my son would say, “Hmmm…what’s that I smell? Is it…FAILURE? Mom, you’re failing. Faaaa…iling. Faily McFailerson. Lalala FAILING!” The jibes would continue until the keys were found door was unlocked.
We would laugh like hyenas and then, in the warmth of the house, he would reply, “Wow mom. Could’ve froze to death out there on that stoop. Way to go.” To which I would laugh and tell him “You’re grounded. FOR-E-VER.”
Then, a few years later, I had a conversation with a client who had a difficult time with perfectionism. I told him the story about “Faily McFailerson” and how liberating I found it was to ADMIT (out loud) failure. I began doing that in my friendships and in my practice and in my marriage and in my church career as a leader. I double-dog-dared him to try it for himself. “Just whenever you notice you’ve done something wrong. Maybe you misplace a tool in the garage or forget to get gas before work. Just try it. Say it out loud. “Way to go Faily McFailerson…” or sing a little failure tune to Row Row Your Boat…” Nobody’s around. Just you admitting, out loud, in your garage, “I failed!” Then come back and let me know how that feels for you…”
Do you know what happened? It made him laugh at himself. Know what else it did? It gave him the ability to share with his wife his failure and SHE laughed with him. Then told him of her horrific casserole disaster that he never knew about because she cooked another one before he got home from work.
It gave others in the family the ability to fail and admit it. It took the pressure off. It even allowed laughter…(always THEM laughing at themselves, not others laughing or shaming them). FREEDOM! Giving ourselves freedom to fail also gives us permission to whoop and holler LOUDLY when we succeed.
Lessons from a sarcastic teenager. How I love it!