Quote:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl
My thoughts:
Yesterday I posted this quote on social media. It was the first time that I really understood, for myself at least, that the Sabbath might have always been intended as a regular reminder of that space where we take the time to breathe, self regulate, and practice the very hard discipline of removing ourselves from the reaction-based actions and emotions of our uncontrollably fast paced world.
Sabbath, from the Hebrew šabbāṯ, merely means “to rest”. It has been used for millennia as a break from work for one day a week. For the Jews it began on Saturday evening, while the Christians changed it to Sunday. Regardless of religion, the intention underlying the Sabbath has always been a day where we remove ourselves from the hustle and bustle of the world.
What I think we might have lost in all of this is the HUMAN element. The religious services and dogma want us to believe that it is in our faith or understanding of something OUTSIDE of ourselves that brings us this peace, when ultimately it is a calm that is found inside each and every one of us.
We have the power to choose the response, as Frankl’s quote says, to create a moment of calm and ease in order to make good decisions.
The science behind it is fascinating. Studies have shown that a steady practice of meditation can decrease the size of our amygdala, the center for the fight/flight response. The amygdala, evolutionarily speaking, is the center for survival and safety. it helps us to make those decisions to fight or flee from perceived threats.
The challenge with perceived threats these days is that it has changed. It’s moved from, “hey this fire might burn me” or “this tiger might kill me” to “this person on the internet is saying things I DON’T LIKE and I think it’s a threat to my way of life!”
It’s different, is it not?
A steady practice of meditation allows us to act with the best knowledge of actual threats, not just what we’ve been told we should be scared of.
This is something that unfortunately is missed within the discourse we see on most Sundays within the Christian tradition especially. In fact, many congregations are fueled with angst and worry from the pulpit that is meant to exacerbate this fear response.
What we can do, perhaps SHOULD do, is take the time to find that space and calm, and if so we will truly find growth and freedom.
Intention:
Join me in this very simple intention:
Today I will breathe through my fear,
I will allow true nature reveal itself,
I will not fear things that mean me no harm.
Meditation:
This is one of those moments where my suggestion IS to absolutely start stretching yourself towards a meditation goal. If you’ve plateaued at 5 minutes, stretch it to 7. If you’ve been sitting at 10 of mindful focus or breathing, try 12 or 15.
The science backs us up here, the more time and consistent discipline we have in meditation, the more our amygdala shrinks and the less dopamine is release into our brain (which is the reason we react the way we do). Stretching ourselves in meditation will bring us to a healthier, regulated, and balanced approach to real and perceived threats.
Cultivation:
Cultivating this space is an integral part of the mindfulness journey. The challenge might lie in removing ourselves from clan and tribe. Don’t get me wrong, community is very important when looking to align yourself with like-minded individuals. Just make sure that love, kindness, and belonging are the hallmarks of that community, not fear, anxiety, and anger.
I am going to take my cue from a poster I’ve been seeing in classrooms since I started substitute teaching. It’s the THINK model. When you are curious about whether you should fight or flee, or if you are attempting to understand the REAL nature of a community, I would look at what the main message is and consider the following:
T - Is it TRUE?
H - Is it HELPFUL?
I - Is it INSPIRING?
N - Is it NECESSARY?
K - Is it KIND?
Elementary? Yes, probably.
But, in the long run, the consistent and INSISTENT alignment to this, and the pause we take before we react, will help us rewire our brains for proaction rather than reaction.
Appreciation:
I am going to suggest something a little unorthodox here, but I think it’s an important way into compassion and grace for ourselves. When we are triggered for our normal fight/flight response, and before we take our THINK approach, perhaps it would be important to appreciate and show gratitude for ALL THE TIMES our brain has looked out for us. Those times when we listened to the fight/flight/freeze response and it was helpful. We do not want to get down on ourselves while we are reconditioning our response, we want to show some love to our mind and body and give it time.
Time is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.