How Did We Get Here?
A reminder and primer on the mindful empath, and how it ties into a tarot practice.
The following is a first draft of the mindful empath’s tarot guidebook. As always, if you have comments, suggestions, or encouragement, please reach out!
What is a mindful empath, and why does it matter to for this tarot practice?
There are so many ways to approach this conversation, some highly esoteric, others deeply scientific. If you REALLY want my thoughts on this you can listen to my podcast1 where I provide, in great detail, the science that underlies my basic belief in the human superpower that is empathy.
But even that suggestion right there is problematic…
You see, empathy is a verb. It is something you do. Empathy is when we feel what others feel. It is the physiological impulse to lean towards catching the football in the endzone as we watch our favorite team play in the big game. It is the cringing and shrinking in our seats while we watch the horror film. It is the absolute shock and shame we feel in our gut when we’re present for an embarrassing moment for our friend.
Those moments are the very real, inherent impulses of empathy. We are hardwired for connection to others, and this empathic energy is our collective WiFi. Recognizing that the physiological understanding of what someone might be going through is the beginning of embracing an empathic nature.
Dr. Paul Ekman2, in his groundbreaking work in the study of emotions and facial expressions (micro expressions) found that across the globe, regardless of age, race, and gender, we all have the same facial reaction to similar stimuli. A look of disgust by a white, 50 year old man in Austin, Texas is the same look that might be seen on the face of an Aboriginal New Zealander. These micro expressions are impossible to hide and universal. Understanding this is key as we consider how we might embrace our empathic impulse.
So what is the difference between having, or showing, empathy and being an empath? And why is it such a big part of this self-reflective activity of tarot?
Being an empath is feeling those feelings and then moving, with intention, towards understanding. It also includes, sometimes, being able to have special knowledge of the inner thoughts of someone else based on their emotional energy, without a considerable outward show of emotion. This is where understanding how our bodies communicate to each other, in approximately 1/25 of a second (the time it takes to perceive a microexpression) by most measurements, is something to be embraced and not eschewed.
Being an empath sounds like listening.
Being an empath feels like an embrace.
Being an empath looks like solidarity.
Being an empath is when you allow the energy of the moment to lead you to understanding.
The unfortunate fact of the matter is we live in a moment in history where, in my opinion, most of us allow our own thoughts, ideas, interpretations, and opinions of others to form our understanding of them. We have closed off our empathic WiFi in favor of a simplistic certainty based on minimal, if not sometimes false, information. We find it unnecessary, and sometimes weak, to listen to others in order to understand them. We’ve been given a playbook by the cultural zeitgeist on how to approach, or not to approach, others.
Having empathy is a skill that we can learn and practice. It is also true that we are a neurodivergent species and we all start from a different place where some of us might come out of the box more sensitive to others (Highly Sensitive People, or HSP, for example), but regardless of your default settings, empathy is something that can evolve…perhaps even to the point of embracing an empathic sensibility.
So, back to the tarot.
But first, let’s consider the cycle of emotion to feeling. Everything we experience is first filtered through our instinctual emotional response, then through our body memory (and potential trauma), and finally to our mind where we conceive and perceive that emotion and tie it to a feeling. A feeling is a story that we maintain about an emotion.
As I mentioned before I believe that we have a horribly weak emotional/feeling vocabulary. It is absolutely up for debate, but much of the research indicates we exhibit, at minimum, 4-6 “basic” or core emotions. Yet we have THOUSANDS of words that identify specific feelings. It is in our awareness, our mindfulness, that we can investigate the nuance that might lead us to understanding our own emotional landscape.
Simply put, the more we understand ourselves and plumb the depths of our own experience and tie our emotions (and the feelings that come after) to a common vocabulary, the more we can understand and empathize with others.
This is something that we can incorporate into a tarot practice. Over time we begin to more easily recognize the energetic shift in the spectrum of feelings and emotions. When we see it in ourselves it becomes second nature to see it in others. This second nature is the way of the empath.
Tarot is a tool to get us there.
It, along with other practices, can help us be a more connected and vital people.
To this end, within the guidebook of the mindful empath’s tarot you will find keywords, promptings, and questions that intentionally lead you to a reflective moment to consider your emotions, confront your trauma (in a safe manner), and identify the nuanced feeling.
For some reason my first couple episodes of Empathy & did not transfer over to Substack. To get my take on the science and spirituality of empathy you can go here:
For more information on Dr. Ekman’s work go here: https://www.paulekman.com/