Quote:
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”
~ Joseph Campbell
Reflection:
I’m exhausted.
I never would’ve thought that my 50’s would be filled with so much turmoil. I’ve experienced job loss and subsequent financial insecurity, crippling (at times) anxiety that has led to insomnia, numerous bouts of depression, and the worst 2 year stretch of physical health on top of it.
What I had planned was to get to 20 years at my previous job, have a decent amount of savings piled up, and to walk away from it on my own terms to start the mindfulness business and “semi-retire”.
Alas, that is not what happened.
I had this idea that seemed to be validated by our experience during the pandemic; that mental health and mindfulness, provided virtually, would be a service that most folks would flock to! It seemed to be a good idea. It still is, I think.
Others were doing it, so why couldn’t I?
We can get into the nitty gritty of demographics, economics, social media fatigue1 and the overwhelming sense that we’re all just barely hanging on, to come up with a MILLION different reasons why it didn’t work (for now).
That being said, I need to be completely transparent here…
Had my plan gone the way I had imagined it I would not be on the precipice of doing something important with my life. Which, other than being the father to three amazing kids, I’m not sure I’ve really achieved. Granted, I probably wouldn’t be behind on my mortgage either, but what I lose in financial security I gain in self-respect and purpose, I guess?
I’ve always thought I’d make a pretty good teacher.
I’m highly empathetic, a natural leader, a brown belt polymath, and many people in my life have suggested as much. So why did it take ALL these turns and double-backs to get to this intersection?
The answer is, I don’t know and it doesn’t matter.
Or, more likely, the Michael of 1996 or 2000 or 2010 or 2020 wasn’t the right Michael for the task.
We evolve. We shed our skins all the time, or at least we are supposed to.
I didn’t think I would be starting a new career, completely from scratch, at 50. Yet that is my reality.
I am up for the challenge, hopefully my knees can keep up.
Intention:
Join me in this intention:
Today, I give myself grace for the times when I feel like a failure, knowing that I’m not done evolving.
Meditation:
Bring your attention to your breath. Feel the coolness of the air entering your nostrils with each inhale, and the warmth leaving your body with each exhale. Simply observe your breath, without trying to control it. If your mind wanders, gently guide your attention back to your breath.
Acknowledge the Change
Now, bring to mind the area of your life where change is happening, or where you desire change. See if you can identify any emotions or sensations associated with this change. Is it excitement, fear, uncertainty, or a combination?
Acknowledge these feelings without judgment.
Imagine the Seed of Change
Visualize a tiny seed nestled in the soil of your being.
This seed represents the potential for growth and transformation. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, and imagine the rain gently watering the seed.
Witness the Growth
See the seed begin to sprout, reaching its roots deeper into the earth and sending a small shoot towards the light. With each breath, visualize the shoot growing taller, stronger, and more vibrant. Notice the colors of the leaves and the delicate beauty of the emerging flower.
Embrace the Transformation
Feel the connection between this growing plant and yourself. Recognize that change, like the growth of a plant, is a natural process. It may be uncomfortable at times, but it ultimately leads to a more beautiful and fulfilling life.
Embrace the Unknown
Now, imagine the flower opening its petals to the sun. Just as the flower cannot predict its exact shape or color, you may not know exactly what the future holds. Embrace the openness and possibility that change brings.
Repeat Positive Affirmations
Silently repeat a positive affirmation to yourself. Here are a few examples:
"I am open to change and growth."
"I have the strength and resilience to navigate this change."
"This change will lead me to something positive."
Bring Yourself Back to the Present Moment
Slowly bring your attention back to your breath. Feel your body sitting in the chair, and the sounds around you. Take a few more deep breaths, and when you feel ready, gently open your eyes.
Carry the Change With You
Remember the image of the growing plant and the positive affirmations you chose. Carry this sense of openness and possibility with you throughout the day.
This meditation is just a guide. Feel free to adjust it to fit your own needs and preferences. With regular practice, you can cultivate a more accepting and positive attitude towards change.
Cultivation:
Here are a few practical ideas for cultivating an appreciation of change.
Focus on Growth: Change, even if uncomfortable, often leads to personal growth. Reflect on past changes in your life. Did they challenge you, but ultimately make you stronger, more skilled, or open new doors?
Practice Gratitude for New Experiences: Change brings new experiences, even if they're initially unfamiliar or challenging. Try a new activity, travel to a new place, or meet new people. Reflect on the positive aspects of these experiences, even if they weren't exactly what you expected.
Embrace the Learning Curve: View challenges that come with change as opportunities to learn. Approach these challenges with curiosity and a willingness to adapt. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Keep a "Change Journal": Track both the changes you experience and your emotional responses. Over time, you'll see patterns and how your ability to navigate change improves.
Appreciation:
Instead of seeing change as a disruption, view it as a chance to break free from routine and explore new possibilities. Change can keep life interesting and prevent stagnation. Recognize those moments where change was sudden, yet inevitably good for you and show gratitude for the person you are now because of it!
It was bound to happen, wasn’t it? Our EXTENSIVE use of social media, especially throughout the pandemic, caused many of us just to be tired of it. Social Media Fatigue is absolutely a thing…. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35114833/